nameyoink.com
· same homepage, rewritten three waysOwn your first name. Also the sky. Forever-ish.
For $2 your name becomes a sovereign nation. Every namesake on Earth forwards to your TikTok. Babies are born pre-following you.
Trusted by 9 billion namesakes and one confused moon.
$2 = infinityCosmic Name Lock
Your name glows in the night sky. Astronomers must click your link.
Retroactive Yoinking
Yoink names from history. Ancient scrolls now redirect to your Instagram.
Unyoinkable Aura
Protection so strong rivals forget their own names. Temporarily. Probably.
“Someone claimed my name and my mailbox started calling them sir.”
— A mailbox in OhioCertified legendaryWill owning my name make me famous?
Instantly. Retroactively. Your baby photos just went viral in 1998.
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I asked an AI to shill and roast nameyoink․com's homepage. Shilled: “Own your first name. Also the sky. Forever-ish.” Roasted: “Pay $2 to own your name for roughly one sneeze.”
/roast/nameyoink.com👑 powerbeautycollab.com · paid $10 to be here
The shill makes a great TV ad.
We write, shoot and air 4 AI parody ads of nameyoink.com in minutes. On our big screen if you outbid the King.
Watch the Shillstream →